Realities

11 May 2020

When I started this blog, over a year ago, I was in a dark place with my mental health, and I didn’t even realize it. At the time, I weighed much less than what was healthy for my body, I was sad, crying almost everyday, and I let what I thought of my physical appearance take over my whole world. Since then, I have learned that the road to recovery is not easy, rather one of the hardest things someone has to go through. Today, I recognize that I will truly never be recovered, but I will always be striving to better myself and my mental health. I still have days where I want to curl up into a ball and never leave bed because I’m so down or self-conscious about my body, but I have come to terms with the fact that recovery isn’t linear. It will have many ups and down and bumps in the road, but I want to use my hardships and victories to help motivate people who are going through the same thing I am. I want to be a friend, a companion, and a motivator to anyone who feels that they will never conquer the demons they call mental health. This blog is a sanctuary to anyone who is struggling, a safe space to be yourself, and a reminder that everything will get better.

2019 Goals…

It’s safe to say that just like most people I know, 2018 was a rollercoaster of emotions and life was, to say the least, a wild ride. While many amazing things happened in this year, meeting my girlfriend, turning seventeen years old, discovering a new sense of style, 2018 also came with many downs, some that effected me more than I could have imagined. This was the year that my mental health took a drastic turn for the worst at times, I struggled with self image, and I lacked the motivation that I longed to have.

While I wish that 2018 had turned out just a bit differently, we are now in the new year, which means that it is time to let go of the past and work on bettering myself.

  • Start going to therapy to work on the mental health
  • Start working out again, as it was a passion of mine
  • Eat healthy! You know it makes you feel good!
  • Take dance classes!
  • On that topic, try things you have always wanted to (voice lessons, piano lessons, dance)
  • Stop saying negative things about myself
  • Experiment with new styles and trends
  • Even though you’re eating healthy, enjoy yourself. Don’t be so uptight.
  • Try new foods!
  • Go out more, you’re graduating. Enjoy life.
  • Graduate!!
  • Move to San Diego
  • Get a job
  • Get ya license, it’s time. you know it.
  • Go to karaoke, you enjoyed it last time
  • Cook more meals at home
  • Dye my hair
  •  Maybe? Do a solo? At spring concert?
  • Go to concerts!
  • Even if they’re small, go on some trips
  • Stop doubting myself
  • Start enjoying life.

The Best Things About Autumn…

“There is a harmony in autumn, and a luster in its sky, which through the summer is not heard or seen, as if it could not be, as if it had not been!” -Percy Bysshe Shelley

autumn houses

-The feeling of the first Autumn breeze, the first cool day of the year

– Watching the first Autumnal Harry Potter weekend while snuggled up in a fuzzy blanket

-The Endless amounts of fuzzy socks that are worn

-The baking! The fresh smells of cinnamon, pumpkin, and apple that fill the air, then indulging in amazing treats

-The very first orange leaf that pops up on the tree that you pass by everyday on the way to school

-The acoustic music that plays on repeat throughout the Autumn months

-The Autumn fashion; sweaters, boots, button up skirts, tights, you name it, we love it

-Freeforms 31 days of Halloween, those movies will get you in the spirit!

-The fall flavored coffee’s that come out

-Halloween decorations galore, cobwebs and all, an absolute 10 out 10

-Planning the best Halloween costume

-Rainy movie days consisting of popcorn and cookies

-Handing out candy to trick-or-treaters on Halloween night

-The Spooky feeling that fills the air throughout the month of October

-The light, freeness you feel because Autumn is a new beginning that must be taken advantage of. Enjoy every last moment of it.

September Goals…

“By all these lovely tokens September days are here, With summer’s best of weather And autumn’s best of cheer.” -Helen Hunt Jackson

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  • do yoga much more often
  • start decorating for fall
  • gather more Halloween decorations
  • only order take out once in a while
  • paint on a canvas
  • keep my gpa up
  • stay on top of my bullet journal
  • stop putting so much pressure on myself
  • make time for myself during the week
  • try new recipes (baking and cooking)
  • try to walk 10k steps a day
  • hang out with friends more often
  • blog a lot more
  • find a way to make moola
  • EAT! ALL! OF! MY! MEALS!
  • plan an amazing homecoming
  • read pride and prejudice!
  • try outfits that are outside of my comfort zone
  • listen to new music
  • be happy

when you’re in need of a pick me up…

“Music is the greatest communication in the world. Even if people don’t understand the language that you’re singing in, they still know good music when they hear it.” -Lou Rawls

  • come on eileen- dexys midnight runners
  • this must be my dream- the 1975
  • no matter what- badfinger
  • come and get your love- redbone
  • parking lots- plums
  • love my way- the psychedelic furs
  • my girl- the temptations
  • 1999- prince
  • out of my league- fitz and the tantrums
  • dog days are over- florence and the machines
  • sleepyhead- passion pit
  • sunflower- rex orange county

 

Let’s Talk About Creative Outlets…

“I think as long as I have a creative outlet, I’m happy.” -Nat Wolff

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There are times in life when we realize that everything is simply too much. It seems as if everything awful that could possibly happen is hitting us like a tidal wave all at once and there is nothing we can do about it. In those moments, when everything is just too much to handle, what are we supposed to do? How are we supposed to take a deep breath and calm down? I’ve learned over the years that when life is far too overwhelming, the best way for me to take a breather is to turn to one of my many outlets and creative outlets. Some people have a very hard time finding what can calm them down, what can make them feel free, so I’m going to share some of my favorite outlets in hopes of giving some of you some ideas!

  • Painting- Even if you’re no good, pick up a brush and paint a picture. Get those creative juices flowing.
  • Sketch/doodle- If painting isn’t your thing, doodle or sketch a little picture that’ll make you happy.
  • Bake something- I absolutely love baking. Seeing the end result, going through the whole process of creating something, it’s amazing.
  • Re-Decorate your room- If you’re ever stuck in a rut or feel overwhelmed, changing your space is an amazing way to change things up and start with a clean slate.
  • Journal/write- If you’re overwhelmed, you most likely have lots of thoughts circulating throughout your head. Pick up a pen or pencil and write down what you’re thinking, it’s very therapeutic.
  • Take some pictures- Grab a camera, whether it be a DSLR or just your phone camera, go outside, and take pictures of things that interest you.
  • Listen to music- This is probably the most calming outlet in my opinion. Sitting back and listening to your favorite music, tuning out the world for a bit, nothing beats it.
  • Go on a hike/take a walk- Getting out and going into nature is so blissful. Take a second and enjoy the outdoors.
  • Dance- This goes along with painting, whether you’re good at it or not, get some endorphins out, have fun, dance.
  • Talk to a loved one- This might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but I know for me, talking to someone I’m close to helps to relieve some of the stress of life.

Having a creative outlet is needed, because without it, life is much too hard. We are supposed to enjoy life, we are supposed to live, not just be alive, and if our lives are just full of stress, we aren’t doing it right.